How To Move On From Sucky Things (e.g. a break-up)

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Hello everyone! If you're someone that actually knows me in real life, you may be going "OMG YOU WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP????!?!?!"

Chill, guys. I wasn't. But very recently one of my closest friends got broken up with and it sucks. It hurts and it's confusing and it's never fun to lose a constant in your life. So as our group of friends teamed up to help her cope, I ended up compiling a little list of things that help when trying to move on from a break-up, or other sucky things (e.g. lost a job, failed a test, didn't get into your choice university/college, just a really bad day, etc.)



Disclaimer: this list is not numbered by level of importance. Or in chronological order. It's in random order. There.



1. Treat yo self. This is important. You just went through something that hurts and sucks big time. You deserve a break. You have a favourite drink at Jugo Juice that happens to be kind of pricey? TREAT YO SELF. You love Haagen Dazs' green tea and honey ice cream, but it's too indulgent? TREAT YO SELF. You've always wanted to spend a whole day watching Netflix? TREAT YO SELF. You want to spend three hours in the tub with your favourite bath bomb and your music blasting? TREAT. YO. SELF. Whatever your guilty pleasure is, indulge in it. There's nothing wrong with being good to yourself.

2. Be kind to yourself. Don't tell yourself that your feelings don't matter or that they're not valid. You have the right to feel whatever it is you're feeling. Allow yourself to feel it. Don't beat yourself up over mistakes and go the route of saying I should've/could've. At the end of the day, you're who you have. Don't be another person that adds to your misery.

3. Surround yourself with the right people. Having a great support network is crucial. Find people who love you and support you. Especially after a break-up, I think. The best friends will be there to eat all the ice cream and marathon all of Netflix with you.



4. Fake it 'til you make it. I find that when I'm having a bad day, my favourite way of coping is to put on my best make-up, have a killer outfit and strut. Just strut everywhere. Sometimes putting up a front just works 'cause then there's like this indirect effect on your actual mood. Of course how you feel on the inside is important, but when your insides are all dim and down, then at least, you look totally killer on the outside, right? Eventually it'll be true for how you actually feel, too.

5. Immerse yourself in something you're passionate about. One of the things that I ALWAYS turn to when I have a bad day is art. I make things. I play music that matches my mood really loudly. I draw. I write. Hell, last time I had a really bad day, I ended up making this blog. Immersing yourself in something you love doing will help distract you, and direct all the energy (or lack thereof) into something productive and rewarding.

6. Take your time. This means both putting aside time to treat yourself, but also time to move on and get back up on your feet. No one is rushing you. Do things at your own pace and take the next step only when you're ready. It's totally okay crawl if you have to.

7. Charge it to experience. Every sucky thing will have some hidden lesson tucked neatly away in the mess. Find it and learn it.

8. Work on being a better version of yourself. This, I think, is the best thing you can do after a break-up or any other sucky thing (once you've taken your time to get back on your feet, of course). They told you you weren't good enough? Prove them wrong. They told you you were holding them back? Show them you don't need them. They say that the best kind of revenge is to live your best life, and I believe that. The best way I know to deal with dark skies in my life is to say, hey. It might totally suck right now, but you know what? I'm made of stars. The brilliance of the sun and the gentleness of the moon is in my blood. You can't hold me back. I'm going to be better than what you think you lost.

Life sucks sometimes and these are things I've learned to do in those times. If you have any other suggestions for how to cope, leave some comments or something. I'd love to keep adding to this list. I hope you are all having good beginnings to this week. And if not, then at least you have this list now, right?